Slow Posting

So many things have happened lately and I will try to elaborate on how I feel about things that have happened. 

First of all, we painted my room all white. I really feel I shouldn't call it my room anymore since I only live here when I'm on break and those usually last for a month. I think I was pretty hurt when I realized that. I told my mom to just get rid of the bed bcs it's not like anyone sleeps on it juga. But she said no, the bed has to stay in the room bcs it's still my room. She didn't have to say that, I mean like, she moved her desk into the room already. But I don't really mind anymore, I was just hurt in that moment, it doesn't matter anyway because its just a room. I've slept in that room probably once since i came back. I think I've successfully convinced myself that it isn't my space anymore. To add to this, not having a space has really affected my entire life!! It's terrible and I feel as if I don't have a system, as a result I've been slacking with myself which is bad. 

A good thing which has happened however is that I've finished 3 books. Although I don't think I've read them thoroughly. Kinda just wanted to fill my appetite for books. I am currently reading The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli. It is dry and ugly and full of tips on how to be an effective leader blahblahblah I mean yeah, it's important and stuff but I want more fiction. I want to stop halfway but it's just so rude to do that. Also, he's a political philosopher and this might be something more relevant to what I'm studying in uni......... but I obviously still prefer fiction over anything else in the world. 

Another thing which I've been doing a lot of lately is driving. The first week I was back, I had to handle little brothers since my mom and dad were away. Recently my mom has been engaged with work and because of that she has to travel. And every time she is away, I have to send Micah to school. Which is great. I hate the manual car. But I'm getting used to it and I'm starting to hate it less. Driving is such a chore. Filling gas is the worst, driving alone isn't as fun when you are sleepy and I hate getting stuck upwards on bukit even small ones cause my clutch game is weakkkkkk and i have to always pull up the handbrakes i'm noob af i hate it. I also hate cars who come up too close to me when we're stuck on a hill!! Can't they see the P sticker on my car???? P stands for im Pretty bad @ driving so stay tf away!

I just feel drained most of the time. Not sure how to re-energize.